My Father’s Suitcase

published by Justitia Books

WINNER

Goody Business Award 2024 self-help: memoir

Available in print in all good bookshops in Australia and New Zealand.
Available as an e-book and audio book from many outlets.
Or purchase direct from me Books for Sale. FREE POSTAGE for print copies

A gripping tale of resilience and survival

A deeply personal and heart-breaking memoir that explores the troubled relationship between Mary Garden and her younger sister, Anna.
Mary unpacks her life of growing up in New Zealand in the 1950s and ’60s, before making Australia home. She reveals complex layers of intergenerational trauma, including the baggage of her eccentric father and the secret her mother kept from all of them, revealed only after her death. Mary deals movingly with her sister’s long battle with mental illness and how she once saved Anna’s life.
As she unravels these narratives, Mary touches on the guilt and shame familiar to anyone who has had to deal with secrets, violence and ‘madness’ in their family.
And shines a light on sibling abuse, the most common form of abuse in the context of family violence. Often dismissed as ‘sibling rivalry’, it causes far-reaching, long-lasting harm.

Snippets from my favourite reviews!!!
Newtown Review of Books - A raw and compelling memoir as well as an interesting slice of social history. I was captivated by the detail of life in New Zealand in the years that Garden was growing up … well researched and elegantly written by an author with admirable strength of character.
Books+Publishing - My Father’s Suitcase is a must-read memoir, and while the topic may be uncomfortable, Garden’s matter-of-fact writing style is not. One can only hope My Father’s Suitcase is Garden reclaiming her story and an ultimate catharsis.
The Normal Grown up Blog - Mary Garden writes with dignity and compassion for others, but the book is a journey towards finding enough of both for herself.

Thank you Mary for the copy of your book. It’s a compelling read, insightful, nuanced and empathic. I worked for many years doing mediation hearings in the Children’s Court and have as an academic social worker explored children’s experiences of maltreatment and cruelty. I applaud you for your dignity and great strength. I am so pleased to have your book. Thank you. Professor Rosemary Sheehan, Monash University

ENDORSEMENTS:
Mary Garden roars against injustice to give voice to silent sufferers of sibling abuse. While tugging at the threads of her family in an effort to understand her fraught relationship with her sister, she spares no one, least of all herself. A raw and unguarded account of a reckoning, a story a lifetime in the making. – MICHELLE TOM
An astonishing life story of complex family violence and trauma evolving into a resolution of heroic compassion. – CARMEL BIRD
A heartfelt rendering of the writer’s struggles with an abusive sister, and her ultimate journey towards recovery. Mary does an especially good job of describing family of origin dynamics that set the stage for the troubled relationship with her sister, and points to a path forward for adult survivors. – PROFESSOR JOHN CAFFARO
Mary Garden offers an unflinching account of her experience of sibling abuse, a largely invisible form of domestic violence. With searing honesty, Garden combines memoir and deep research to explore the complex nature of sibling relationships, and the uniquely profound impact of abuse, when inflicted by one sibling onto another. – NICOLE MADIGAN
From its electrifying opening to its deeply compassionate conclusion, any sibling who’s ever had to play happy families will find solace in Garden's visceral battle cry against victim blaming. Writers everywhere will treasure this benchmark book for courageously demanding truth in the face of bothsidesism. – MICHAEL BURGE
A fascinating and sometimes shocking story of family trauma and conflict. Written with insight, restraint and compassion, Garden shines a clear, unflinching light on her own family and herself. – MAURICE GEE

REVIEWS, INTERVIEWS & ARTICLES

30 October 2024, Cristina Prescott, Review, The Book Commentary - This memoir is crafted in exquisite prose, and the author offers compelling commentary about family issues and trauma. It is as deeply moving as it is insightful. 

24 October 2024, Stephanie Elizabeth, Review, ReadersViews - There is no doubt in my mind that Mary will pull on the heartstrings of many readers and inspire those who have endured the mental and physical toll of sibling abuse to begin their healing journey. She has done an excellent job of highlighting the inadequacies of mental healthcare, the generational cycle of abuse, and the long-term effects of the gaslighting and physical aggression she endured.

17 October 2024, Lissa Mitchell, Review, RadioNZ Nine to Noon.

10 October 2024, Dr Matthew Roberts, ‘A memoir that that sears and soars’, The Normal Grown up Blog, Mary Garden writes with dignity and compassion for others, but the book is a journey towards finding enough of both for herself.

30 September 2024, Haunted me: Why sibling abuse is the forgotten abuse, News.com.au. (my article)

29 September 2024, Review on TikToc by Jessica Mudditt, Hembury Books.

17 September 2024, Episode 307. Toxic Siblings: The hidden abuse nobody talks about and why you need to go no contact, DEAR LITTLE ME podcast

20 August 2024, Mary Garden, My sister is dead to me [not my title!] Newsroom. (my article)

12 August 2024, Mary Garden, Author Mary Garden on the brother she never knew about, rugby league star Michael James McClennan, New Zealand Herald.

2 August 2024, Johanna Fink, Yellow Bookshelf podcast - This book is a must read, and it should be made into a movie.

16 July 2024, Radio Mansfield, interview with Anthony Cox: 12:15 to 1:00pm

8 July 2024, Jenny Denton, A suitcase of family secrets - Chewton author's story of sibling abuse Bendigo Advertiser.

July 2024, Suzie Housley, Midwest Book Review - My Father's Suitcase is a captivating reading experience that will tug at your heartstrings. Mary is a resilient heroine who navigates through life's challenges with grace and strength. Her heart-warming resolve in the face of each obstacle will inspire and uplift.

June 2024, Dianne Dempsey, Self-publish & Be Damned Bendigo Magazine, pp.24-29.

28 June 2024, Readings, What We’re Reading - What a pleasure to read her work – it flows as if you were right there next to her and she was telling you stories from her past, mixed in with delightful anecdotes about her life now … And you'll just love Mary's voice – she writes as if she believes in you to believe in her.

24 June 2024, Denise Newton Writes - All of the hallmarks of abuse are outlined in this book: the unpredictability of violent outbursts, gaslighting, a failure to intervene appropriately by those who should do so, scapegoating. And for the victim of the abuse? Shame, depression, guilt … In her brutal ‘warts and all’ honesty, the author has highlighted some important and timely issues that we all need to understand.

24 June 2o24, Margie Peterson, Reedy Discovery - A vivid memoir of the trauma Mary Garden experienced from her sister's violence. Sharing the entire story is both illuminating and healing … Garden shares what it is like to pursue facts, seek justice, and not give up against the stalling tactics that abusers use to wear you out.

17 June 2024, Donna Kelly, The Local News (Daylesford) - ‘Gripping tale of survival of sibling abuse’.

14 June 2024, Lesley Hewitt, Wombat Post - It’s an honest and searing account of a toxic family environment, and one which left me thinking about why Mary was able to emerge as a survivor. It’s also a book that encourages the reader to reflect on their own relationships within their family.

13 June 2024, Lesley Hewitt, Interview Wombat Post podcast.

12 June 2024, Lea Dodd, Rosetta Books newsletter - The narrative weaves its way thematically through Mary’s past presenting us with a fractured story that mirrors the nature of trauma.

7 June 2024, Steven Carroll The Age/SMH - This may be a fearlessly candid story - her description of being physically attacked by her sister is frightening – about the disturbing themes of mental illness and abuse, as well as the “slippery beast” of memory, but it is underpinned by an abiding, humane sensitivity.

6 June 2024, ABC New England, Interview with Kristy Reading

6 June 2024, Glen Innes Examiner - ‘Meet author Mary Garden at morning tea.’

5 June 2024, ABC Sunshine Coast, Interview with Annie Gaffney

24 May 2024, Mike Burge - a heartfelt exploration of growing up in New Zealand in the 1950s and ‘60s in the shadow of her father Oscar Garden (1903-1997), a pioneer aviator who had an emotional ‘crash landing’ once his high flying career came to an end. … this dysfunction created fertile ground for sibling abuse.’

24 May 2024, Lee Kofman - There are few books out there that will discuss toxic sibling relationships with as much candour as Mary Garden offers in this poignant memoir. I also love Mary’s thematic ambition. If you’re interested in literary plagiarism scandals, this book is also for you.

14 May 2024, Kirkus Review - Garden’s memoir is highly readable and filled with surprising twists.

13 May 2024, MaineFM, ‘Girls on Air talk with Mary Garden about her career as a writer and her latest book, My Father's Suitcase.’

11 May 2024, J.M. Carmel, Book Sirens - This is an open and honest account of Mary Garden’s life. She does not shy away from complex realities of childhood trauma and the resulting dysfunction of adult relationships … Along the way, Garden gives us snippets of research on this very complex issue.

7 May 2024, Sonia Isaacs, ‘Resilient Survival’, Glasshouse County & Maleny News - Her latest book explores the complex nature of sibling abuse, and reveals the burden of emotional complexity that families with intergenerational trauma are forced to bear.

5 May 2024, ReadingHigh - This is an important book as well as an intensely personal look into the devastation which can be allowed to happen within a family. It is an absolutely riveting read and it will speak to a lot of people.

2 May 2024, Eileen Wood, The Senior - A gruelling yet gripping account of a type of family violence not well known or well understood - sibling abuse. It is the sort of book that after you read the last words, you find yourself delving back in to reread a chapter or a paragraph in an attempt to gain more insight… [it] will resonate with many readers.

16 April 2024, Books+Publishing - My Father’s Suitcase is a must-read memoir, and while the topic may be uncomfortable, Garden’s matter-of-fact writing style is not.

1 April 2024, Lily Andrew Bestsellers World - My Father’s Suitcase is a heartfelt memoir that chronicles author Mary Garden’s struggle with sibling abuse, an understudied and rarely spoken kind of domestic violence. 

31 March 2024, Hembury Books podcast

31 March 2024, Readers’ Favorites

• K.C.Finn: A profoundly moving memoir that sheds light on the harrowing realities of family violence, but does so in a compelling, emotive, and compassionate way.

• Laura R. Brush: My Father’s Suitcase is a compelling and insightful journey into the heart of familial conflict coupled with the liberating power of understanding and forgiveness. This book is not merely a story; it is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking to heal from the shadows of their past.

• Doreen Chombu: The author's casual narration, educational tidbits on New Zealand culture and history, and explanations of trauma responses and symptoms make the book engaging. I hope that many people benefit from its valuable insights.

29 March 2024, Nicole Madigan, The Unspoken Trauma of sibling abuse, Mamamia.

22 March 2024, Anna Featherstone: Mary’s memoir is compelling, insightful, unapologetic, and searingly honest. You become immersed in the decisions and day to day of her very dysfunctional family, and the themes of mental health, family violence and a society willing to look away. Mary gives us a window into what it’s like when parenting responsibilities are foisted on a child and how sibling abuse is often mistaken for sibling rivalry and hidden away.

20 March 2024, HappyValleyBooks: I was engaged, shocked at times and hoping for justice in this interesting memoir.